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November 07, 2004
.... and another failure to communicate
lilliebet wrote: Obviously I'm gutted at losing his friendship but there's so much more that comes with him. Effectively now, I'm barred from his social circle, from the places he hangs out and they're a big part of my life. Now I face losing other friends because of my differences with him, is that really fair?
You see, there you are, another perfect example of the mouth working when the brain is still curled up under the quilt. What I've said here is totally unfair. I sound as though I'm blaming him for this but it's my inability to deal with a potentially uncomfortable situation that is giving me grief.
What I'm so badly trying to say is, some people touch our lives like tangents to a circle. The time they spend in our lives may leave no impression at all when they're gone. But there are those who cut deep and leave an everlasting impression. Sometimes they take a little piece of us with them when they go too, sometimes our lives will be changed by their passing.
For me, this is one of those times.
Posted by lilliebet at 07:32 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
November 06, 2004
Another lesson unlearned...
Is honesty really the best policy? Is it better to always say nothing rather than tackle issues? I come from a culture where I can be honest with my friends. I can tell them when they tick me off and they can return the compliment. We don't fall to pieces when this happens, we deal with the issues. If they can't be resolved then fair enough but at least we put a bit of effort in. Anything that matters in life is worth that extra effort.
Right now though, I've hit a stumbling block and it seems to be one person. Just when I thought we'd turned a corner, we'd had words without either of us walking away, it seems I said the wrong thing again and off he popped. As so often happens, I ended up losing my temper and now I've lost a friend too. I am totally flummoxed by this, once again. I just can't seem to see these trivial differences in the same serious light as he does.
Obviously I'm gutted at losing his friendship but there's so much more that comes with him. Effectively now, I'm barred from his social circle, from the places he hangs out and they're a big part of my life. Now I face losing other friends because of my differences with him, is that really fair?
You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now, this has happened too many times before. I've wondered about that, why I keep repeating the same mistakes and I realise it's because I don't see it as a mistake. Being open and honest is not a sin. I can adapt to some degree but I don't think I'll ever be in a place where I can bite my tongue for someone else's sake, if something needs to be said, it needs to be said and everyone involved needs to be able to deal with it. The strange thing is, he's pretty much like that himself, he just doesn't like to be on the receiving end.
So here I go again, from the highs of a few days ago to the lows of today. Just once I'd like to string together a few weeks of highs without a drama turning into a crisis.
Posted by lilliebet at 07:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack