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January 21, 2005
A problem shared ...
So many times in the last few weeks I've been asked whether I had a good Christmas and, like an automaton, I've replied "Yes, great thanks" everytime. When, in fact, quite the reverse is true.
In the last few months, my son has been having problems that have become more and more obvious although my many attempts to pry information from him got me nowhere. That is until the day before Christmas Eve when things came to a head, the story started to spill out and, as Christmas Eve dawned, he fell asleep in my arms crying "I need help mum, I need help".
In the few weeks since, he's revealed more and more of what's been troubling him and the final details were revealed last night. Now I am in full possession of the facts and I can begin to deal with the situation. Happily, things are not half as bad as the horrors I'd been imagining, mums do that don't they (yes, dads do too)?
Two questions burned me more than any in all this: Why didn't he come to me in the first place? and why, once he'd finally started to talk, has it taken four weeks of worry and anguish to get the whole truth out in the open?
Um, hold on a minute, what exactly have I been doing for the last four weeks? When did I share my burden with anyone, when did I ask for help? We don't though do we. Whatever the reasons, be it pride, shame or embarassment, we just keep trying to soldier on and carry the load on our own. I suppose, as a single parent, I do it more so. I have a daughter as well and I need to maintain the balance for her sake but am I succeeding in doing that?
In the last few days, it's become obvious to me that I'm struggling with this and the cracks are showing. It won't be too long before others start to notice (in fact the question has already been asked). And so the situation doesn't just perpetuate, it escalates.
I don't want to share my son's troubles with the world, that wouldn't be fair on him. After all, if he was too proud to tell his mum, would he really want her friends to know? But a wise woman would have held up her hands and said "Hey guys, I have a problem. I'm dealing with it but it's not easy, so please bear with me." I know how much my friends care for me and that they would support me through this, to say I've been foolish is something of an understatement.
So here it is: Guys, I have a problem. I'm dealing with it but it's not easy, so please bear with me.
Posted by lilliebet at January 21, 2005 09:00 AM