lilliebet

When I moved in to my building, there was an older man living in the house next door. He was a rather odd guy, some of his "eccentricities" only came to light after he died but we were neighbours for more than ten years yet we never spoke. That is until one afternoon when all the local kids were having a tea party in our back yard. Suddenly, in the midst of the merriment, huge pieces of wood and building debris began flying over the wall from next door.

I dragged the kids out of the way and yelled for him to stop. It was only at that point he bothered to look over the wall to see who was there but rather than apologise, he just started to rail on about people throwing their rubbish into his yard and damaging his roses. Yes, I agreed, it was outrageous but no less outrageous than slinging dangerous objects at small children. He ranted on for about 10 minutes, during which I was perfectly reasonable but told him in no uncertain terms that his behaviour was unacceptable. Eventually he relented, apologised and shuffled back indoors grumbling about the youth of today.

It was only a week or two later he was murdered. At 8 o'clock one morning, he was bludgeoned to death and his body set on fire. When I got home from work that night, forensic teams were still sifting through the ashes and there were police everywhere.

That day was also my birthday (are you seeing a pattern here?) We were having a small family gathering and I was in the middle of opening presents when the police knocked wanting a statement. There wasn't a lot I could tell them: I left for work at about the time he was murdered but I saw and heard nothing unusual. I knew nothing at all about it until I got home that night. Then they asked me about "Amos" (that wasn't his name but the kids had dubbed him Amos the first time they saw him and it stuck). What was he like? Did I know much about him? Nothing at all, was my reply, we'd never spoken.

Which is when my little darling decided he would help the police with their enquiries. "Oh but you remember Mum, you had that big row with him last week.....!" Ah! Perfect timing son.

I must have looked like a blithering idiot trying to talk my way out of that one. I can only give thanks that they already had the offender in custody. Apparently he'd gone straight to the police station and handed himself in. If it wasn't for that and the fact that Officer Dibble had a sense of humour (and probably embarassing kids too), I might be scratching this on my cell wall right now.