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October 08, 2005

Once Bitten

The strangest thing happened to me this week. I was contacted by a woman I've never met, never had contact with before. She's the ex-wife of a friend of mine.

She sent me an email which screamed to me that she was trying to justify her position in life and the actions that she's taken. They are no matter to me. Apart from the continued effect she has on my friend, what she does and what she says is none of my business. I had to wonder why she contacted me at all.

From things that were said later, it appeared that she thought I am someone I'm not. I got the impression she thought I was my friends partner rather than his friend. It crossed my mind then that what she was trying to do was not so much a justification of herself but a condemnation of him. Why? For what purpose?

They have been apart for almost a decade. She has been remarried and her life goes on without him. So why does she still hold all this bitterness towards him?

We all get angry when relationships end, separation and divorce can lead normally sane people to behave in the most base manner. I haven't been there, haven't done it but I've seen it and it can be ugly. I try to understand.

But I will never understand holding on to the bitterness and the anger. It is it's own cancer and it will grow inside you if it's given the right conditions. You can never be happy in your own life while you are putting your time and resources into spoiling someone else's.

Let go of it, leave it be. Get on with growing your own happiness, be content in your own life.

Posted by lilliebet at October 8, 2005 08:40 PM

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