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November 09, 2005
Turning the tables
A few weeks ago I had a sort of rebirth - that's a bit of a flowery way to put it but I cast off a lot of anger. Alright, a lot of it was directed in totally the wrong place and I'm very sad that that happened but it's a fact now and I have to deal with it.
Letting go of all the resentment I was feeling has had such a positive effect, it's remarkable. I don't get irate in work any more. Shit happens and I just let it, I don't let it get to me. It's not that I don't care, I do very much, I'm just able to step back and look at it from over there instead of right here in the middle of it all.
I was talking to my mum this morning. Her working world has been turned upside down and she and her colleagues are really going through the mill. Last night it spilled over into her social life and, like I did a few weeks ago, she had a hissy fit and directed all her resentment at one person (not entirely undeserved I grant you but she was out of order all the same.)
So this morning I found myself giving my mum some very positive, productive advice. She wasn't entirely receptive at first but I think it eventually dawned on her that here was the person who would usually be having the hissy fit suddenly talking sense; being the voice of reason; and if this normally manic, hyper lunatic is able to take a step back and start looking at her life differently, well then anyone can. By the time we parted company, I hope she had taken my words on board.
Life is stressful enough without us creating more stress for ourselves or others. In a few short weeks I've learned to take a different view of my world and it's been an enlightening experience. I see so much now that I didn't see before, it's like watching the world through a window; being far enough removed from the hassle and aggro that you can weigh it all up and know that you've thought it all through before you act or speak. Knowing too that you can deal with the consequences because they're of your own making. I guess you'd call it taking back control.
Posted by lilliebet at November 9, 2005 10:45 PM
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