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November 02, 2005
Present Arms!
I have to do a presentation!
That just about sums the whole thing up. I have to do a presentation as part of my DMS assignment - Personal and Professional Skills - and I've never done one before.
The horror I felt tonight as we discussed the content etc was so blatantly written upon my face that the guy sitting opposite me couldn't stop laughing.
I cannot speak in public. I'm alarmingly lacking in self confidence and I will go to pieces, I know it. It's 6 weeks away and already my stomach is churning.
I think I'll just go and sit in a corner and rock until it's all over. Excuse me....
Posted by lilliebet at 11:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 24, 2005
Ch-Ch-Changes
No it's not a stammer, it's a Bowie song.... oh never mind.
I've finally cracked it - the Firefox/Stylesheet problem that is - and I'm chuffed to bits about it. I really love this starry theme, it's very "in ya face", a real diversion from the pastels from before.
So I've gone off on one in the last couple of days creating a multitude of themes which will be rolled out at appropriate times (can't wait for Hallowe'en).
So I'm thinking I'll change the way I post too. At the moment I just jot down random thoughts if and when they occur.... that sometimes leads to huuuuuuge gaps in the calendar and I don't like that.
So from now on I'm going to try to blog every day. I might fall down on that because, being honest, there are days when nothing happens. Like last Monday for example - absolutely the most boring day in the history of the world. Oh except my son came home from work covered in diesel and fell asleep on my bed before his bath. Do you have any idea how many washes it takes to get the smell of diesel out of your bedding? No, neither have I .... YET!
Anyway, on with my campaign to bring changes to my life. I've just had my second annual mortgage statement which means I'm now into the third year of owning my flat. Why is this important? Because I bought the flat through the "Right to Buy" scheme and got an ENORMOUS discount (I paid a third of the rebuild value, the rebuild value is about a quarter of the market value) but, if I sell within three years, I forfeit the discount. So I just need to hold out for 11 more months and I can sell it without penalty.
And then the world is my lobster! lol
The minute I get a buyer, you won't see my heels for dust. I don't know where I'm going to go but I'm not sticking around here. This is going to be the biggest step up my Ziggurat but I can't wait!
Posted by lilliebet at 10:00 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
August 20, 2005
First Step
OK the climb starts here.....I'm applying for a job.
"Big Deal!" I hear you say, "you've done that plenty of times." Yes I have but this one is something of a departure for me and here's why...
I know I've touched on this a couple of times before but I wanted to get it in proper perspective and be honest about the whole thing.
Four years ago the HR & Payroll department I work in went through a restructure. At the same time, we bought the Oracle HR Management System (nightmare!) and a new SysAdmin team was set up. I applied for, and got, the job of Systems Administrator, there were seven of us. All good so far. Unfortunately, Oracle HRMS wasn't quite what it was cracked up to be. When it was introduced, it was expected that many payroll jobs would be lost because Oracle was all-singing all-dancing. I dunno, maybe we bought our copy from the weasel faced guy at the Computer Fair??
So anyway, I was asked to stay in payroll until such time as Oracle was running full throttle and I could be spared. I agreed, no problem, happy to help. I'm still here! I didn't mind too much, I loved my team and was very proud of what we'd been achieving over the last few years so, for the greater good, I soldiered on but I was always concerned that I was missing out.
Just recently though, the threatened job cuts have reared their ugly heads again. Only they're not in payroll as expected.... they're in SysAdmin. The team is being reduced by two and the duties of those two posts are transferring to payroll.
It was at the point of hearing this I threw my dummy out of the pram! I'm the only SysAdmin who never physically took up the role and the others have all the experience. It was obvious to me that when it came down to interviews I'd be on a hiding to nothing and it just seemed so unfair. I'd sacrificed my opportunity for the sake of others and it had come back and bitten me on the arse. So I sulked, stamped my feet and was pretty bloody childish about the whole thing. In short, I was a cow! Luckily Bill was there to slap my arse and tell me to behave myself.
So OK I stopped pouting and, when our Senior Manager asked for expressions of interest in transferring to payroll, I volunteered. I can't say I was ecstatic about it but at least I'd have a job .....
.... and then I stumbled on something that Bill had written. It wasn't an article - it was more like class notes - but I read it a couple of times and it really hit home with me. It was about selfishness... not the miserly, miserable form of selfishness but about doing things, living your life, for your self. At least that's what it said to me.
So I thought again about taking up a new job; learning new tasks and skills; starting over; and I made a decision. If I have to put myself through all that, I'll do it my way, for me. So I'm applying for this job. It's a totally new direction for me and I'm definitely not qualified or experienced in this area. In fact the chances are I won't even get an interview but that isn't actually important and I certainly won't lose sleep over it. What's important is that I'm taking positive steps to change (improve) my life and I'm doing it for me.
This is only the first step....
Posted by lilliebet at 03:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Up, up, up the Ziggurat lickety split
zig·gu·rat(zĭg'ə-răt')
n.
A temple tower of the ancient Assyrians and Babylonians, having the form of a terraced pyramid of successively receding stories.
[Akkadian ziqqurratu, temple tower, from zaqāru, to build high.]
So as I was saying, I read something the other night which made me take a very deep breath and a long hard look at myself.
I've known for a long time that I needed to make changes, I've been in the doldrums far too long. Most of what was going wrong for me is starting to come right (you know money problems, kid problems, the usual stuff) but the other night I realised that all this does is bring me back to where I was, it doesn't move me on....
So I thought to myself "OK I have a mountain to climb, I need to set myself some goals" that sounded kinda strenuous (lol) so then I thought "No, not a mountain - a ziggurat. Not goals - steps. Some will be small, some large. Some I won't achieve but, when that happens, I'll just take a different step. There are many different ways up the ziggurat and I will find my way to the top..... I'm already working on the first step....
Pardon? Oh the title? Well it's something Rimmer used to say in Red Dwarf. He was always seeking greatness but remained one of life's failures because he never actually did anything, he waited for greatness to come to him... sadly, it never did.
Posted by lilliebet at 12:51 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
August 18, 2005
The Winds of Change.....
I had a revelation last night. Not entirely of my own making I grant you, it was inspired by something I read. But big changes are coming, positive changes and, right now, I'm pretty excited.
No time to stop.... I have things to do..... see you back here soon.
Posted by lilliebet at 07:07 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack